


Suddenly, the lights go out

by Dreadful_Delight



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x20 Carry On, Bees, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Coda, Dean Winchester Dies, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean is happy... so good he can, Fix it 15x20, Flowers, Happy Heaven, Heaven, I fix "Carry on", M/M, Supernatural fix it, carry on, coda 15x20, coda s15e20, happy end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:47:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27702311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreadful_Delight/pseuds/Dreadful_Delight
Summary: Fix it-Fic for 15x20 Carry on. I hope this will cheer you up in some way.Thank you for reading.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	Suddenly, the lights go out

**Author's Note:**

> The titel is from the Song "Dear Agony" from the Band Breaking Benjamin--> [LISTEN HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGrM1sh-8pE)
> 
> Thanks to my beta [CurrentlyLost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurrentlyLost)! Check out her awesome works!

Dean couldn’t believe it. After everything he has been through, he’s gonna die because of a stupid rebar. It’s really ironic, really. He defeated Death, Azazel, Dick Roman, Michael, Chuck, and fought every Monster on earth… but a rebar is what will end his life. 

He hears Sammy sobbing right next to him, but it feels as though there's cotton in his ears making everything sound so far away. Slowly, he drifts into an endless sleep, slumping over in his brother's arms. Sam held him as tight as he could and cried.

***

He wandered through heaven; the sky is blue, the sun is shining and he could see a multitude of flowers spread across the land. It’s beautiful and calm. The wind rustled the leaves, gracefully and almost inaudibly; slow and elegant, peaceful. Birds sang and bees were buzzing around, and from far away, you could hear the frogs croak. 

Dean smiled fondly and walked along the path, his eyes wandered around the scenery. At the end of the road, he saw a house. Would that be his house? His house in heaven? He walked towards the house, it was small and modest and made out of wood. Dean arrived and looked around.

“At least I made it to heaven, I guess,” he said to himself. 

He peered around the corner and saw Bobby sitting on the porch, it’s the Roadhouse. “Yup.” Bobby replied and looked at him, tender. “It’s the heaven you deserve.” He offered him a beer.

“So… everyone here?” He asked as he took the beer. 

Bobby smiled. “Of course. We all waited for you. Rufus lives about five miles that way! And your Mom and Dad… live over there,” he said, nodding towards the mountains in the distance. 

Dean frowned. Well, there are other people, more important people, he wanted to see, but he didn’t say anything. If this is heaven, his home could be anywhere, but for sure not near his father and mother.

“So, Jack did all this?” He questioned instead. 

“Cas helped.” Bobby glanced knowingly at him. 

Dean gulped. Cas helped? Cas was… he was...

_I love you._

_Goodbye, Dean_.

Tears were in his eyes, he never could—he never could say anything back to Cas, everything happened so fast. He regretted so much, all his anger towards Cas... and Cas just loved him, unconditionally, purely, with all his flaws.

He blinked a few times and nodded. “That’s a surprise,” he remarked, his grip tight around the beer bottle. “I never thought—never thought that I…” he begins and then sighs, fiddling with the label of his beer with his other hand. 

“Go on,” Bobby said, his voice softer than Dean had ever heard from him. It proved to him that Bobby truly was at ease here. “Go to him.”

Dean huffed and his lip trembled. “I… I don’t even know where he is.” He took another sip out of his bottle, blinking the tears away. He couldn’t believe it, Cas is in heaven? Did Jack save him from the empty? At what cost?

“I don’t even know if he wants to see me,” he admitted.

Bobby rolled his eyes. “If you won’t go to him in the next 5 seconds, ya idiot,” he barked. “Head that way, all the way down, and you’ll find him. And remember, you’re in heaven, you can wish for anything.” Bobby gave him a meaningful look and Dean put his drink down and got up. 

“Okay, okay. Jeez,” he said before closing his eyes. He won’t walk, he’ll drive. He opened his eyes and suddenly, his Baby is parked in front of him. 

“I guess I’ll drive to Cas.” He waved to Bobby as he made his way to his car and then got in. Even though he’d just driven the Impala to the hunt, it still felt like it’d been too long since he was behind her wheel. He sat there in silence for a moment, looking around the interior and thinking about all the memories he had. He started her up, put her in drive, and went. 

***

He drove through a beautifully wooded area, the sun was shining high and some sunbeams broke through the treetops and lit up the woods. Dean smiled and drove mile after mile. Bobby said he would find him... but is this really the right way? He continued to drive and left the woods behind. 

_‘Where is he…’_ he thought and suddenly, another path to the right appeared and he took it.

The path was smaller, he wasn't in the woods anymore and fields framed his path. Flowerfields, with so many different, beautiful flowers, so colourful and it looked so magical. There were beehives scattered across the field that were painted yellow and black, resembling a bee and Dean stopped the car. He got out and something pulled him onto the field. He couldn't say what it was, a feeling, a whisper… an intensity of _something_ , but he couldn't name it. Like a magnet, he walked slowly into the flowers, carefully, step by step, so he wouldn’t smash any of them. 

He smiled at the little butterflies fluttering in the wind, the little bees searching for their pollen as he let his fingers wander softly across the petals of the beautiful flowers. His gaze roamed over the flowers, this moment felt like slow motion and a soft breeze blew through his hair. Dean smiled and closed his eyes, even if he’s dead, he wanted to feel this moment at the purest core. He’d never felt anything like that before, what was it? Peace? Love? Happiness? He didn't know, but it was so soothing. 

After some time, he opened his eyes again and felt tears on his cheeks. He didn't even notice that he’d started to cry. Dean chuckled and wiped them away as he began walking again. He could see a house near the field, it looked like a farmhouse, and headed towards it. He walked out of the field and spotted a mailbox. Who needs a mailbox in heaven? But it was cute and, of course, it was in the shape of a bee. Dean smiled, this all—this all must belong to Cas. Cas is here, somewhere. He felt his heart racing. How is this even possible? He’s dead, but the thought of Cas, of him being here, made Dean’s body tingle.

It was simple, but beautiful. The porch is littered with flowers—in little pots, big pots, and hanging pots. Lavender bouquets were hanging from the ceiling and a cute little wind chime, of course with a bee and honeycombs, made of glass jingled softly in the wind. 

Dean glanced at the door, he wanted to see Cas so badly and walked slowly up the three steps upon the porch. He took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock, but, at the same moment, the door opened. 

Radiant blue eyes were nervously looking at him, but Cas smiled and put his hands behind his back. He wanted to hug him, but he was scared; there were so many unspoken words between them. 

“Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean whispered. “It—it’s so good to see you, I thought that… I would never see you again,” he admitted softly. 

Cas smiled at him. “Oh, Dean,” he said. “It's good to see you too.” 

Dean took a step closer to Cas, hugged him tightly, put his arms around him, and hid his face in the crook of Cas’s neck. Cas was a bit surprised, but hugged him back as he’d wanted this for so long. They hugged so firmly, that not even a piece of paper could fit between them. Cas closed his eyes and caressed the back of Dean's neck and they stood there for an eternity. Dean closed his eyes as well and breathed in Cas’s scent; he never really knew what Cas’s scent was. Do angels even have a scent? But, then again, who really cares.

It was just so… _perfect._

“You—you smell really good, man,” Dean whispered and Cas smirked. 

“I guess that's one of the detriments of being human,” he answered and Dean pulled back to look at him, an apology on the tip of his tongue. “Dean, it's okay. It’s how Jack could save me from the empty, how I could be here. I love it. I built something here and I can watch the bees and…” he said before stopping himself. He wanted to say more, wanted to say that he built this all for _them_ , to live in heaven together, _happy_. Something they couldn’t do when they were alive.

Dean frowned. “...and?” He asked. Cas hesitated. 

“And be with you.” he whispered, avoiding Dean’s gaze. Dean smiled.

“I’d really like that, Cas. You know, the things you told me, before you—” He managed to swallow the lump in his throat. “I couldn’t give you an answer. I couldn’t tell you how I feel and the truth is...” he began and scratched his neck nervously. 

“You don’t have to,” Cas replied. He always wanted to save Dean from doing things that were a bit harder for him. He always wanted to protect him and ease any of the stress on his shoulders. It didn’t surprise Dean that he would say the same thing he did in Purgatory, but it frustrated him. He should be able to say it, to be honest with Cas <i>and</i> himself. Cas, especially, deserved this. But the words were stuck in his throat once again and took a deep breath. He could do this.

“I love you, too,” he said, agitated but relieved the words were finally out in the open.

Cas stared at Dean for a few minutes. He couldn’t say anything; his mouth opened a couple of times, but nothing came out. And then he smiled, big and gummy.

“You can’t imagine how long—how long I wished for this,” Cas confessed, tearful delight shining in his eyes. Dean smiled, and pulled him back into his arms.

“I’m gonna say it so much now, you’re gonna get tired of it.” But he’d never be sorry.

Cas's shoulders shook with mirth. “Never,” he assured him. Dean grabbed his shoulders and pulled back slightly to really look into Cas’s eyes. He wanted to memorize his face, the look in his eyes, and his smile. He never thought he’d get to see this face again, and as much as he put up a front for Sam and the others, the truth was that he’d cry for Cas every night and would pray that he never forgot what he looked like. Dean would start off by praying to Cas, but he knew that his longing and grief was broadcasted to all angels by the time he managed to tire himself out and finally drift off to sleep.

Cas, like every time they interacted, held his gaze, never faltering. Instinctively, he raised his right hand and gripped Dean’s shoulder just as he did when he pulled him from hell and when he said goodbye back on Earth. Dean tore his eyes away from Cas’s face to look down at it and he couldn’t stop his eyes from filling with tears as he looked back to Cas’s face.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, begging. Without another moment, Cas’s other hand pulled Dean’s face closer by the back of his neck, their lips just a breath away. The former angel just couldn’t bring himself to close the space. He needed Dean to be the one to do it.

“ _Please.._ ” Cas implored. Dean didn’t recognize the sound he made in his throat before he was surging forward and molding his lips to Cas’s.

Since coming to Heaven, Dean hadn’t felt the weight of everything crushing him, but there’d been a gigantic piece of him seemingly lost to the wind. And now, here he was, feeling completely whole for the first time since his mother was kissing him goodnight when he was four years old. For the first time, Dean felt… _normal_. There were no big bads here waiting to take out the world or them or both. There was no waiting for the next hunt to fall into their laps or even having to worry about what they’ll come across online or in the newspaper. There was nothing going bump in the night.

No, there was nothing like that here.

Just them.

And it was blissful.

**Author's Note:**

> Castiels little bee wind chime: [Windchime](https://www.somethingdifferentwholesale.co.uk/home-and-garden/garden/windchimes/Bee-and-Honeycomb-Windchime/)


End file.
